Be like the river, calm, soothing yet fierce. Curbing around stones and roses. And finally meeting and embracing the ocean. That’s what they say. But then what? The entire time it works its way to meet the ocean. But then… what? What does one do when they reach where they want to be? I wish to keep treading along the path I took. I want to wander. I want to reach my destination. But maybe that’s what I want to be doing- “Reaching” but never really get ‘There’- It’s never about the destination, its bout the journey. Because when I finally reach there, I will be complete. But we leave some of us. We are never complete. Destination is an illusion. It was always about the journey . For you don’t make the journey, but it makes you.
In the midst of something blue I saw a Reflection.
Wondering what it was I moved closer,
To be able to shape the Victim I squinted my eyes.
I was afraid who or what could that be?
So captivating yet so gloomy,
The closer I get further it stirred.
The moment my feet touched that cold tide
the hollowness in me moved a little aside.
I didn’t care and kept on walking.
I could feel the sensation of something new.
I liked the rush of it flowing towards me,
It was exciting.
I wanted to see it.
I wanted to grasp it and I ran after it,
until I was deep under blue.
I looked around, it was just me and that Reflection glaring upon
the window of my soul.
Something happened that night.
I was deep underwater breathing you out.
I cleansed that night, the Captivating Victim that I tried shaping
The gloominess surrounding it; it was you.
I came to realization that, it was a calling for my Redemption
I’m nearly back in the swing of real people life & I think the thing I need to pay the most attention to is balance.
Life is full of tipped scales & it’s up to us to find ways to even them out.
It sounds more ominous than it maybe is, but at the same time I wonder if I’m not worried quite enough.
I’m always worrying about something, that would i won’t ever get too comfortable
I wonder if that’s actually my deluded mind’s reasoning; if it is it’s because I equate comfort with weakness, which actually sounds terrible written out like that.
Going back to an idea from a week ago, I’m not trying to be a holier than thou sufferer, it’s that I’m afraid I’m too comfortable I’ll never be able to achieve any of my great big goal & I really want to get there someday.
Maybe it’s the way your captivating smile got my feet frozen the moment you said “Hello” or maybe it’s the glow in your eyes that radiated and melted my heart. I do now know.
Maybe it’s the way your voice sent impulse through my auditory nerve as a calm breeze in such a way that a troubled soul will find a peace or maybe it’s the way your gentle touch sent a shiver up my spine causing a million signals to be sent to my brain. I do not know.
Maybe it’s the way your firm derriere moved gracefully as you danced to the rhythm of the bata drum that day at the dance festival, keeping my eyes fixed on you. I do not know.
I may not know many things but this one thing I know…you had me at “Hello”. I hope we never have to say goodbye for in many ways than one Mclovin, just as your name implies, I want to be the one to keep showing you love to the end of time.